The Endless OSR Pit Table: What’s in the Room?

I’ll compile it all into a pdf once we hit 100 and beyond, so don’t worry about numbers unless you make subtables and want to make that easier for me.

  1. Nothing. This room is empty. Seriously there’s nothing here…not even dust.
3 Likes
  1. The remnants of a large feast left partially eaten. It seems to be mostly meats…poorly cooked.
3 Likes

A bloated corpse, with maggots crawling out of it.

3 Likes

Bamboo-and-paper partitions split the room into 1d3+1 cramped subdivisions. Roll on this table for each individual cubicle; any occupants will pretend to ignore the other ‘rooms’, occasionally trying to enlarge their space by moving the partitions when they think no-one will notice.

3 Likes

The smell of dust and varnish

2 Likes

An incredibly large pie. Still steaming. Unrecognisable fruit filling. Crusty.

3 Likes
  1. A metal cryo-coffin with White-blue tubes running in and out of the sides. A gentle hum emanates from within. It contains:
    a. A young red-haired man. A bit dim, but can drink anyone under a table
    b. A bounty-hunter from long-ago, hunting an immortal being
    c. An ice elemental, has cryo-madness. Absorbed the mind of the former inhabitant

  2. A room with six sand-stone pillars covered in runes. If deciphered, tells the story of:
    a. The last gladiatorial tournament of an empire destroyed by a comet. Has hints of the legendary combat move: Death Touch
    b. An ancient gardens far to the west that were said to contain several rare species of fruit
    c. Scrawled graffiti, tales of a local drunkard’s sexual exploits

  3. A room of 3d6 graves, three contain undead trapped under feet of gravel and dirt. Within one’s head contains a pink uncut gem worth 10gp

5 Likes
  1. Hole in the wall, a switch next to it. The hole is a crystal pipe – as wide as a regular human head. The pipe branches to three different pipes. This pipeline is intended to transmit reports and items between the laboratory and the archives, as well as two other rooms. One of the pipes is clogged with treasure. It is controlled with a heavy three-position switch. It is like a joint grinding its grainy socket.

  2. Brass stacking doll: 3 doll layers. Placing an item in the smallest one (palm-sized), and closing the lid, destroys the original item but clones it to two other vessels. Clones have 1-in-6 chance of being destroyed when opening the doll.

5 Likes

A scale model of a tiny war between poorly made scrimshaw models on a dirty old table. There are loose papers full of numbers here. After a moment, you realize the figures occasionally twitch and move as if trying to not be noticed by you.

5 Likes

A half-finished, half-dead, half-alive, half-mad, very sad Frankenstein (source for the name: https://xkcd.com/1589/ )

2 Likes

A full size tree (1d3: 1 - Cork, 2 - Pine, 3 - Palm), years of dry leaves piled around it, perfectly preserved. Its sap can “supposedly” (1d3: 1 - Prevent aging, 2 - make the most delicious syrup, 3 - ignite on contact with air)

4 Likes

A sapient pie (with arms and legs) holding a plush orc.

A group of orcs and goblins recreating a random episode of The Young Ones (with a 35% chance of a musical guest performing for the cast)

A bowl of daisies contemplating the meaning of life.

2 Likes

Let’s get this goin’ again!

A completely empty room with a single golden coin resting on the floor in the center of the area. The coin appears to be either extremely heavy, or permanently stuck to the floor due to some type of adhesion. The ceiling above the coin is spattered with what appears to be colored paints (red, blue, pink, and green), almost looking like someone tossed several paint buckets into the air and splashed them against the ceiling.

If at any point any persons in the room mentions any of the colors by name, that specific color will disappear from the ceiling. If all colors are removed by clearly vocalizing their names, the coin will suddenly act as a normal gold coin, with normal weight, no longer stuck to the floor. It’s just a normal gold coin, nothing magical or unique about the coin.

If the party loots the coin, then trigger a monster of some type that will then stalk the party, as that was the monster’s coin, and they do not appreciate the party making off with their only, prized gold coin.

3 Likes
  1. An empty stone room with a large fresco on the wall of dozens of adventurers staring intensely. Take a saving throw or be liquefied into paint and sucked onto the wall - and reduced to an intensely staring painting of yourself forevermore.
4 Likes

A painting depicting the PCs as queens and kings. A search roll or carefully observing reveals it’s a fake and some paint can be scratched away, revealing the PCs as ill peasants.

3 Likes

A richly decorated box with no obvious lock or hinges, but a wooden switch on top. If the switch is activated, a secret compartment releases a mummified hand that crawls up and turns the switch off again. It then returns to its compartment and closes the cover.

3 Likes

A big soft bed with luxurious fresh blankets and huge puffy pillows. Anyone who goes to sleep in the bed will sleep for 1 year. They require no food or water while they remain in the bed. They cannot be awoken by non-magical means. Wandering monsters know not to disturb them. 1 year later, the sleeper wakes up feeling refreshed, and gains a level.

2 Likes

2d4 goblins gambling. They’re all cheating, and some of them aren’t even playing the same game. The pot includes several low-denomination coins, a rat skull on a stick and a tallow candle with a bite taken out of it.

3 Likes

The workshop of a master sculptor and carpenter, who just happened to be obsessed with mimics. Hundreds of stone and wood works feature subtle hints at the object being a mimic (statues have small fangs, chests have carved eyes, tables have realistic humanoid legs, etc), all resting in this room. None of these objects are animated, or involve any magic at all. They’re simply just an artist’s work.

For extra flavor, toss a semi-intelligent monster or NPC that’s discovered inside of the room, paralyzed with fear. They believe if they move too suddenly or make too much noise, all these false mimics will suddenly animate.

1 Like

A colony of talking vermins with a bone to pick with another faction of vermin in the dungeon (roll on the table below to determine the type of vermins). They will trade informations (mostly related to their enemies) and offer the PCs help to wipe them out.

  1. Frogs
  2. Rats
  3. Snakes
  4. Fungi
  5. Spiders
  6. Flies
1 Like